Tuesday, May 17, 2011


I just got back from costo. I dislike costco. I dislike the people at costco. The worst are the leeches lurking at the free samples counters causing traffic jams with their carts. Go home and eat you parasites! I'd like to meet the sadist who decided that the best places for the free food are at the major aisle junctions and give him a piece of my foot. All the freeloaders do is camp their goddamn jumbo carts in the middle of the aisles of the most highly trafficked points of the store while they wait for their free postage stamp sized piece of delissio pizza. Goddamn barnacles.

Anyways this time around I picked up Computer dust spray and chicken wings (*the standard 2 - 4 item purchase see below for explanation) and waited 10 minutes in this longass lineup to pay. Then on the way out I had to wait almost another 10 minutes in a second lineup - the one at the door where they check your receipt and search your cart. Fuck that noise! Next time I'm walking right out the goddamn door not handing my receipt to any of those asshats. I'm not even going look at anyone. Maybe I'll use my cellular phone and pretend to be on a very important call... I mean I paid for the shit right? That means it's MY property and it no longer belongs to those costco bastards. Let security chase me into the parking lot if need be. I'll just tell them to piss off.

*Everyone I know that goes to costco usually comes out with maximum 2 - 4 items in their carts. Some classic combos include:
My dad: Came home with hummous and winter tires. The weirdest thing is he doesn't even have a membership
Me: Bleach and jamaican patties
My dad: Swiss cheese and motor oil. Once again somehow done without a membership.
My mom: A desk and 6 Top Sirloin steaks
Biz: Peanut butter and batteries
My mom: Toilet paper, epsom salts and a case of San Peligrino
My accountant: A piano and Newman's Own ranch dressing.
My aunt: Hair dye, mayonnaise and a basket ball net

Frank Breaker

1 comment:

  1. LLolllz ---> My aunt: Hair dye, mayonnaise and a basket ball net