Friday, July 23, 2010

The world is coming to an end

THE WORLD IS COMING TO AN END! We all know how the cosmetic industry markets products to women with the purpose of deceiving men right? If you dont know lets take a closer look. Here are a few examples

- make up (accentuates facial features)
- foundation (covers up imperfections)
- wonderbra (fake sweatermeat)

My friends take a look at the newest form of trickery "booty pop panties". This product is aimed at giving flat bottomed women an ass thats more desirable. Now am I the only one who sees the problem with this?! Its fraud! Has no one thought out the consequences of this? Heres a scenario: you meet a chick and her booty pop at a bar, go to her spot and boom find out she has absolutely no bottom at all. What do you do? I would not be a happy camper. If this shit catches on Im going to market a product to men called "cock rock shorts". Basically its a pair of boxer briefs with a 12 inch dildo attached. Picture this setup: I sport a pair of cock rock shorts in my slacks, pick up a girl, bring her back to my spot, "excuse" myself to the can, removing the fake snake, and come back buck naked 5 to 6 inches shy of what she expected. Undoubtedly she'll stay but the whole time she'll be like wheres the beef?! Thats not bad actually... Im going to patent that shit before any of you fools steals the idea



Seriously this is a dangerous creation. Imagine booty pop panties combined with the wonderbra, make up, mascara, etc... once its all removed youll find youve basically been bamboozled by a 10 year old boy. Wars will ensue! Looks like george costanza when he put that big ass wallet in his pocket.

Ladies just do it the old fashioned way - eat biscuits and gravy or have a baby.

Frank Breaker

Virtual Nintendo Entertainment System

Missing your old school gen 1 NES? Check this out virtual NES

Click the link and get on that contra, mega man, tecmo Bowl, super Mario Bros, etc.. ! They have a shitload of other games you can play all online and for free

Im going to get my lifeforce on right now (if you remember lifeforce you get 10 extra cool points)

Frank Breaker

2010 Kia Soul Commercial

This is a cool video - hamsters rocking out to "the choice is yours" (black sheep). This was my favorite track in highschool! Makes me want to buy a toaster. Courtesy of Finger Noel and Kia



Frank Breaker

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Scooter fail

Hahaha! Did he died?!





Frank Breaker *rolling on the floor laughing and kicking kids

Friday, July 9, 2010

Paul Cargnello and The Frontline - Corbeau et cygne (featuring Karma Atchykah & Dodecahedron)

My boys Paul Cargnello, Dodeca, and Karma! Its a wicked track and the video came out nice too. Paul called me last week and asked me to be in the video too but I was going out of town that weekend ({}). Anyways what the fuck would he have had me do at the end of the song?! Im not a producer or rapper... Come to think of it Im glad I couldnt do it these 3 bastards wouldve made me look terrible. 34 years old and I have no effing talent or discernible skills to speak of (well I do but nothing worth mentioning...).

I probably wouldve just stood there looking pretty.
Video courtesy of Jessie



Frank Breaker *feeling shitty but looking pretty

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Clark and Michael: asshole to elbow

Michael Cera is jokes. How did his shirt come off so fast? Bwahaha!





Frank Breaker

Worst idea of life contender

Heres a new contender for the "worst idea of life". Theyre called "winkers". Seriously?! How much time did the creator spend looking at bottoms before he came up with this shit idea? Can you imagine what his business plan was like?! Biz pointed out that theres a "patent pending" on the clip. Patent pending?! On drawing talking ducks and eyes on ass cheeks? Did this dude actually think that his idea was so hot someone would want to steal it? I wonder how the patent application went haha

"Patent submission - standard pair of pants with various artwork drawn on the buttock area. The purpose of this invention is to attract an individual/groups gaze via the artworks (ex: eyeballs, duck mouths, etc...). As the wearer walks/runs, an alternating fold is formed under each buttock. Through the repetition of walking the artwork will appear to be animated..."

For christ sake a patent costs several thousands of dollars. I hope this guy goes bankrupt.



Frank Breaker