Thursday, April 25, 2013

Ask Frank


Hey Frank - How can I tell what gender my parrot is?
Penny

Dear Penny,
Take it out to dinner and pay attention to which bathroom it uses.

Hey Frank - Do atheists fear God?
Jackie

Dear Jackie,
Do christians fear Zeus ?

Hey Frank - Background for the movie the matrix?
Martine

Dear Martine,
That's almost a question...

Hey Frank - My parents are always making stuff up. Yesterday we had "the talk" about sex and they told me I can get pregnant even if I'm on top. Bullshit right? What should I do?
Alex

Dear Alex,
I think you should tell your parents you're adopted.

Hey Frank - If you could be a girl for a day what would you do?
Lisa

Dear Lisa,
First thing I would get on my knees and pray I don't get my period that day.

Hey Frank - Why do girls have shiny lips and men dont? If you look at their lips in the light they reflect like a mirror!!!!!!!!
Jerome

Dear Jerome,
It's because lips turn smooth after so many blowjays.

Hey Frank - Why do they put seeds in grapes
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,
Who is they???

Hey Frank - How do I stop moaning during sex? My boyfriend says I'm really loud and I don't want his roomates to hear.
Kelly

Dear Kelly, 
Tell your boyfriend to tightly hold a pillow over your face. Tell him to keep it there and he shouldn't worry if you start to struggle - its just the moans trying to escape your body.

Hey Frank - Why don't we see bats during the day?
Bill

Dear Bill
The reason why we don't see them during the day is because technically bats are werepigeons. You never see a bat and a pigeon at the same time do you?
Source(s) X-Files. 

Hey Frank - Ive been reading your posts and I wonder - are you ignorant or just apathetic?
Janet

Dear Janet,
I dont know and I dont care.

Hey Frank - Does Barack Obama fart?
Jimmy

Dear Jimmy, 
Yes he does and they smell like hope.

Hey Frank - Does gin really kill insects?
Beth

Dear Beth, 
Yes because it eventually destroys their small livers. It also prevents them from holding down steady jobs and wrecks their families.

Hey Frank - My tv wont turn off! Ive pushed the on/off button hundreds of times and even unplugged it. What do I do?
Joe

Dear Joe, 
The only way to stop it is to kill it. Get a pistol and shoot it.

Hey Frank - What are the little bumps on a girls nipples?
Dave

Dear Dave, 
They are an instruction manual in braille for blind people detailing secrets on how to truly pleasure a woman.

Hey Frank - I'm scared of going down on a woman. Is pussy juice bad for you?
Mathew

Dear Mathew, 
Studies show that a teaspoon of PJ per day can potentially extend your life by 2 years.

Hey Frank - Whats a good nickname for the name Ruby there are no nicknames can you think of one?
Ruby

Dear Ruby,
Marge is a good nickname for Ruby.

Hey Frank - Can you lose your virginity if you fall?
Katherine

Dear Katherine,
Not unless you fall on a  penis.

Hey Frank - If the universe was created by the big bang what was there before? 
Walt

Dear Walt,
The big blowjay.

Hey Frank - Is it true Michael Jackson was in a band back in the day?
James

Dear James,
Yes. He was in a band called the Jackson 5. I don't think they were very popular though... in fact I doubt they even made it out of their parents basement. 

Frank Breaker