Friday, April 15, 2011

Revenge by spam

I just checked my junk mail folder and found out I have 744 messages in it.
How did it get so out of control? It got me curious so I did some investigating (call me lois lane) and eventually got down to the history of the term "spam" in regards to unsolicited e-mail . In the 70's the Monty Python troupe performed a skit about a restaurant where every dish contained spam. It began with a waitress reading the menu to a couple: "There's egg and spam, egg bacon and spam, egg bacon sausage and spam, spam bacon, sausage and spam, spam spam, bacon and spam, spam sausage, tomato and spam..."
A group of vikings sitting in the restaurant began yelling: "SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM!" They were loud so the waitress had to stop and tell them to shutup. This didn't faze the vikings who started singing even louder "Spam spam spam spam! Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam." They were so loud that they completely drowned the waitress out. Fast forward to the 80's... the term spamming was adopted from the skit and used to refer to newsgroup messages that were posted to multiple newsgroups (remember how awesome newsgroups were?). Since most of these were off-topic messages and ads, the term eventually came to be used for unsolicited e-mail as well.

Now back to my problem. WTF is adult friend finder and when did I sign up for it? Why do so many people think I may need to last longer in bed? Who have they been talking to?! And according to all the emails each claiming to be able to extend my poy poy by 2-3 inches conceivably I could construct myself a penis that is over a kilometer long! Interesting...

*Edit: Ok so I found out it's my sister's fault. Apparently she signed me up for adult friend finder using one of my email addresses as revenge for my pranking her with a confetti bomb 2 months ago. For those of you who don't know a confetti bomb is a device that automatically blasts someone with hole punch waste. In this case I hit her with a manual version; I filled her umbrella with a shitload of the stuff. LOL you should've seen the look on her face when she opened it up and got dusted in scrap paper!!!!! Totally worth it.

Frank Breaker

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