Tuesday, April 19, 2011

1971 VS 2011

Scenario: Charles and Raymond get into a fistfight after school...

1971: Crowd gathers. Charles clocks Raymond in the lip. He wins. They shake hands and end up respecting each other.

2011: School principal calls the police. Riot squad arrives and arrests
Charles, Raymond and a few innocent bystanders (all minorities). Cell phones are rolling recording the fight, the ensuing chaos and police brutality. Both gentlemen are charged with assault and suspended from school even though Raymond was the instigator. Video is uploaded to youtube before the fight is even over. Parents not concerned and both students enjoy an extended vacation at home.

Scenario: Bobby is very disruptive in class.

1971: Bobby is sent to the principals office and gets a belt whipping. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2011: Bobby is given massive doses of ritalin. Becomes a living zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra subsidy because of the disability. Bobby drops out of school in grade 11. He becomes a massive junkie and dies of a smack overdose at the age of 24.

Scenario: Carlos breaks his neighbor's window.

1971: When his dad gets home he gives Carlos a belt whipping. Carlos is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a contributing member of society.

11 - When his dad gets home he tries to give Carlos a belt whipping. Carlos beats the christ from his dad knocking him senseless then calls the cops. Carlos dad is arrested for child abuse. Carlos is removed to foster care and joins a gang. A psychologist tells Carlos' younger sister that she must have been been abused herself but she doesn't recall because she suppressed the memory. Their dad goes to prison. Their mom has an affair with the psychologist. The psychologist gets a promotion.

Scenario: Frank brings a joint to college

1971: Frank shares the joint with his ethics professor in the smoking area. They get high and discuss course material

Frank shares the joint with his ethics professor in the smoking area. Security calls the cops and Frank's car is searched for drugs and weapons. Frank is arrested for drug possession and expelled from college. The teacher gets fired and becomes a stock boy at a grocery store because it's the only job he can find.

Scenario: Harbir takes apart leftover fireworks, puts them in a bottle and blows up an anthill.

1971: Ants die.

2011 - Security and the Anti Terror Squad are called and Harbir is charged with domestic terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Harbir's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while playing and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1971: Johnny feels better and goes back to playing.

Johnny feels better and goes back to playing. Later his parents find out what happened and accuse Mary of being a sexual predator. She loses her job and faces three years in prison for sexual assault. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. He eventually becomes a sexual deviant.

*Edit: if my son ever tried calling the cops on me trust me he'd end up wishing he never made it to the egg.

Frank Breaker


  1. what is this obsession with belt whippings?

  2. that's what I used to get and I grew up to be a well adjusted (not so much) contributing member of society!