Friday, September 23, 2011

Ask Frank

Hey Frank - I just changed the toilet paper roll in my bathroom. Why after my girl goes to the toilet is there only 20% left of the roll? What do they do in there?

Mans aren't supposed to know the answer to this one but I did a little recon (i.e hid in the shower) and watched what my girl does. She rips it in pieces and eats it! Trust me your girl does the same...

Hey Frank - Why do girls pace back and forth while they're on the phone?

It's because of their vaginas. I don't know the exact science but it has something to do with the sound waves coming from the device interfering with the electromagnetic radiation that is emitted from the pussy (much like an airplanes navigational instruments being adversely affected by cell phones). They have to keep their vaginas in motion to stave off the electromagnetic discharge... I believe this is based on the perpetual movement technology rolex developed for self winding watches. Mens use the same technique whenever they run the microwave.

Hey Frank - Why do trannies dress so slutty?

Have you ever seen a tranny dressed like a housewife??? No. You know why? Because they are all tramps. And mean.

Hey Frank - I like the idea of being in law enforcement. Should I become a security guard?

If you become a security guard you are not in law enforcement so the dream is already over for you. You have no gun. All you do is observe and report. Basically you are a witness who gets paid for his time. Good luck with all that

Hey Frank - Who is the vice president?

Of what? Of your country?? I'm canadian which basically means I don't care.

Hey Frank - Can I mix bleach and water together to make it less toxic?

Personally I prefer to drink my bleach straight. That way you get the full bodied flavor in every sip.

Hey Frank - My girlfriend wants us to swim with the dolphins. Is it safe?

Sure! Dolphines are just gay sharks and don't worry they're vegetarians so they won't nibble at your testicles.

Hey Frank - Do canadians really ride polar bears to work? If so where do I rent one?

Yes and it kicks ass! Mine likes chill in the parking lot with the other polar bears smoking cigarettes and shooting the shit while he waits for me. Then he tells me all about his day on the ride home. His name is carlos and he's originally from the dominican republic. Contact me when you get here I'll hook you up with his cousin fernando.

Hey Frank - Which direction is north in canada?

Step 1 - face south
Step 2 - turn 45 degrees counter clockwise.
Step 3 - repeat step 2

Hey Frank - Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast so badly you can't eat it?

This setting isn't for toast it's for tanning your hands.

Hey Frank - What are male ballerinas called?


Hey Frank - What is baby oil made from?

Distilled petroleum byproducts and babies.

Frank Breaker

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