Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Clothes Fail

I don't understand how some people can look at themselves in the mirror and think "damn I look good today - I should go out into the world and show off ". This post is dedicated to all of those delusional douchebags who've gone WAY off the spectrum of reality.

She's smiling because right now her vagina just got tickled by the family of gerbils living in her pants.

Meanwhile back in santa's workshop...
WAIT A SEC! Do the stripes on her bag match her hair and shoes too????????????????????????

Don't fret dude! I don't think any ladies are worried.

This is the worst case of elephant knuckle (male camel toe) that I've seen in a while. You'd think once his testes switched sides he'd realize these aren't skinny jeans.

Just looking at this photo makes me want to go get a penicillin shot. Na I'm kidding. I'm sure she can count the number of dudes she's slept with on one hand. Provided she's using a calculator...

That day she used a construction crane to pull her shorts on.

The one on the right kind of looks like a ninja turtle villain. I think his name is be bop.

Why? In what universe is it normal to go out dressed like this? This one is making my brain hurt. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - Gandolf the Grey

These shorts are so tight I doubt this girl is ever going to the bathroom again. Wait! Her shirt says she's an upgrade? An upgrade from what??????

WHAT THE FUCK?! I'm so rattled by this image I don’t even think I can come up with a decent caption for this. You're on your own.

Just because they make the material doesn't mean it has to be used.

Looks like her stockings barfed up her skirt shirt.

Look what a person straight from cartoon land can do!

I’m having some trouble understanding what’s going on here... I doubt she even owns a mirror. Or a bra.

Hottest chick in the game huh? I assume the game is rigged.

3 reasons why this dude isn't out raping somebody right now
1) He's too broke to buy/rent a white van
2) He lacks the upper body strength needed to violate a person.
3) His potential prey can see him coming a mile away

This guy has thirty something semi employed middle class douchebag who gets drunk on his parents' money written across his face. I believe he also masturbates himself raw to tranny porn.

Observe - her booty looks like a garbage bag full of video cassettes.

Looks like her skin is trying to swallow up every piece of clothing she's wearing.

This dude's all like “let me make my proportions look as fucked up & weird as possible so I get more attention.” Either that or he just shit his pants and is trying to keep the mess as far away from his crotch as possible.

This dude's outfit is playing a game of charades with us, and it's secret phrase is "I'm gay." Straight up this outfit is REALLY good at charades.

This he/she is out of control but that's ok cause the true sign of a great hipster is not being able to determine their gender...

Dude. Stay home and try again tomorrow.

This shit looks like it was made out of a pink garbage bag that she tied off at the waist with a twist tie.

This dude is obviously wanted by the cops. And not because he's a menacing criminal but because he's dangerously out of touch with reality. Count dracula looking motherfucker.

High waisted '80's jean shorts combined with a bra and table cloth jacket = straight up mess.

This dude just stepped out of that bar scene in star wars.

So did she.

Ladies meet Larry Fruithandler. He enjoys consuming large amounts of coffee, eating children's cereal and long strolls down the coast to "coolville".

These are not shorts. I think he somehow lost most of his pants on on his way to the party. Possibly to a dog or in a fight with a homeless person. Maybe he was so trashed he only realized the next day that this was his look the previous night? Hmm... Yeah I doubt that.

This douchebag woke up in his apartment (i.e oversized van parked in a parking lot) thinking "today I'm dressing too cool for school". Unfortunately in the real world his clothing choice screams "I'm lost in space and I'm not aware that I look like a complete dickhead". I'll bet he also smokes some form of hard to obtain foreign cigarettes (i.e gauloises) because he's convinced it really pulls his look together.

Fucking crackpots.

Frank Breaker

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