Wednesday, June 12, 2013

More Crazy Sue

Referring to marriage
Crazy Sue: "If you get married I want your wife to call me "mom". I don't want her calling me Mrs. P because then my grandchildren will call me Mrs. P too."

Buying a laptop at best buy
Crazy Sue: "I want one with a keyboard attached to it."

At the mall
Crazy Sue: "I'm at fairview. Can you goggle and see if the Rogers is still in the mall? ... Goggle, google whatever. Same thing."

Cleaning the house
Crazy Sue: "Don't make a mess. This house needs to be clean by the time the cleaning lady gets here. I don't want her thinking we're messy people."

Drinking alcohol
Crazy Sue: "That's crazy! You can't get drunk off of wine."

Referring to a member of her choir
Crazy Sue: "She's lucky she has big breasts because she can't sing very well."

Referring to my youngest sister
Crazy Sue: "When she was a child I would've taken a bullet for her. Now that shes grown I want to shoot her."

Regarding me mentioning that I quote her
Crazy Sue: "Don't quote what I say. If you quote what I say you'll be in big shit. And you can quote me on that."

Referring to MAJOR fire at my apartment (I called crazy sue to tell her as it was happening)
Crazy Sue: *to my sister* "He says his apartment's on fire. It's probably just burnt toast in his toaster."
Meanwhile I was outside my apartment with an entire squad of firemen

Crazy Sue: Just when I thought you were as brilliant as me you go and say something that shows how unsmart you are."

Regarding a childhood dream of becoming an astronaut
Crazy Sue: "If you get hurt in space you'll probably die."

Our family dog
Crazy Sue: "Put Snowy in the oven please."
She meant to say "cage" but never corrected herself.

Referring to a computer technician
Crazy Sue: "Try and stand between us my nose is sensitive today and his breath smells like he shit his pants.

Plastic surgery
Crazy Sue: "I'm going in for botox. They should probably give me a frequent flyer card."

Work issues
Crazy Sue: "I found a solution to the attendance problem. I thought about it all night. And on the toilet this morning."

Guilt trip
Crazy Sue: "I never try to make my children feel guilty. The fact that you think that really hurts my feelings."

Frank Breaker

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