Friday, April 25, 2014

Shit burger experience

I love Harvey’s restaurant. I mean LOVE. But the number of decent locations in montreal is going down the fucking drain. The latest one to go down is the 24 hour one on decarie. I should've been tipped off by the odour as soon as I got in. Ordinarily all Harvey’s restaurants have this particular baked sawdust/dry booty smell which I have gotten used to over the years. I think it's from the meat. The odour saturates everything it touches - the bag, receipt, napkins plus your fingers will smell like ass for a few hours after eating. This time around there was no baked sawdust/dry booty smell. This particular location smelled like feet. Specifically children's feet - which is not as bad a smell as adult feet but it is still bad.

Let me point out it was after 2 am I hadn’t eaten dinner and was hungry as shit. This was the only fast food place open in the area that I was willing to grab food from  
The girl who took my order was missing a tooth...
The girl who assembled my burger was a real piece of work though. With this glimmer of contempt in her eyes she asked what toppings I wanted

- Mustard/relish application was all good. 

Then shit went downhill.

- I asked for lettuce. She dumps a pound of the shit on my burger.
- I asked for onions. She put 2 small ass pieces. When I asked for more she spooned some extra on asking “good enough?”
-I asked for pickles. She put one. I asked for more pickles she put a thousand. WTF is this? I'm not stocking up for winter.
-The tomatoes were translucent. Passed on them.
-I asked for hot peppers and she goes to put those nasty end pieces on. I told her to forget it.
-I asked for ketchup. The psycho perhaps overcompensating for the lack of onions earlier opened the floodgates and poured out an ocean of that red shit onto my burger.

On my way out I asked for ketchup to go for my fries. She drops one packet in my bag. When I asked for more she gave me this look of disdain. What the fuck one packet of ketchup isn't going to put a dent in a large order of fries! I almost told the douchebag if she hates her life so badly a bullet only costs 25 cents. I held back though. After taking a look around I understood her plight - I don’t care how much one gets paid no one is happy to be working at 3am ESPECIALLY when your clientele is mostly composed of drunk bastards. I also noticed that most of the employees looked like shit and no one serving in front had a full set of teeth. I think the guy in the back even had a glass eye - his left eye didn't move at all. By the way never trust the guy in the back. I figure they keep the clinically depressed employees in the back at the grill so they don't creep out the customers. At the Harvey’s on St. Jacques (which is banned by the way) I once watched the dude flipping the burgers leave the grill, handle raw bacon with his hands, then return to touching the buns without washing up. Fucking nasty.

Never again.

Who am I kidding I'm probably going to end up there tomorrow.

Frank Breaker

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