Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My future criminal organization


I was watching "The Dark Knight" the other day and started to wonder how did the joker amass such a large crew of henchmen??? How do you even begin the recruiting process? I mean you have to start somewhere right? That got me thinking - maybe I could start my own gang of henchmen/villains? I would name my organization K.R.I.M.E (
Kriminal Recreation Is Marvelous Entertainment). First I would have to find some crooks – this shouldn’t be too hard since I already know a few. I think a good number of henchmen/women to start with is 10 (there’s always room for expansion). I would teach each of my henchmen/women a special skill and give them code names based on that skill. They will also be provided with a uniform which would have to be worn at ALL times during office hours. Incidentally what kind of office hours do criminal masterminds keep anyways? Is it like shift work? Anyways each henchman employee of K.R.I.M.E would be required to work 10 - 20 hours per week. I would be very flexible here as most of the crooks in my employ would have to keep their day jobs. In the beginning stage work at K.R.I.M.E would be an unpaid internship but once my organization starts making profit all employees would be eligible for a cut. In addition to the uniform all employees would be provided with a patch branded with K.R.I.M.E's logo (the patch would have to be returned should the henchman/woman quit). The only time you would be allowed to show up to K.R.I.M.E headquarters without the uniform is when you are working under cover on a mission OR on casual Fridays.

K.R.I.M.E headquarters would be a warehouse in a shipyard where I could draft various complex schemes or create villainous devices and machines (the ultimate goal being theft and destruction). We would need to cause as much as crime and crookery as possible so that people fear us to the point that the mere mention of K.R.I.M.E sends a wave of fear throughout the city.

Once a week to keep up appearances I would hold staff meetings in shady criminal type places (alleyways, rooftops, boats, on top of a moving trains, in underground lairs, in the conference room at the holiday inn across from Fairview shopping centre, etc…) where I would introduce new henchmen/women, go over the K.R.I.M.E weekly agenda, etc... Attendance would be mandatory at these meetings. Criminal marsterminding is serious business not a dog and pony show.

So far here are the codenames I came up with for the gentlemen of K.R.I.M.E


Finger (already taken)


ZodiaK (spelled EXACTLY this way)





And for the ladies of K.R.I.M.E

Evil - Lynne

Miss - Carriage

Miss - Behave

Miss – Take


Night Stalkerz (for twins or sisters)




K.R.I.M.E's evil plans so far

Frank Breaker - Criminal mastermind

K.R.I.M.E founder

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