My mom: "You know dad wants to have his birthday at amirs restaurant?"
Me: "I dont know about that I dont feel like lebanese food tonight."
My mom: "Amirs is a lebanese restaurant? Ive never had lebanese food. Haha what is it like fried dirt? See Im funny sometimes!"
My mom: (referring to a record she was about to play)
My sister: "What are you playing?"
My mom: "Im playing minding my own business."
My mom: (referring to lemon wedges she had cut for caesar salad at her bbq) "Can you believe my son wants me to throw out these lemon wedges because I got a little blood from the steaks on them? Thats crazy talk."
My mom: "This christmas the only presents I want are pictures of all of you for my photo albums ok? The gifts I normally get are useless..."