Thursday, June 19, 2014

Ask Frank

Hey Frank - Why are people against gay marriage? 

Dear Natasha
I have no idea why this is such an issue. For real what's wrong with a gay man marrying a gay woman?

Hey Frank - How do I get my 30 year old son to move out of my house?

Dear Susan
Raise him better.

Hey Frank - Why does my boyfriend always refer to my breasts and vagina as my lady bits?

Dear Kim
Because he's obviously 11.

Hey Frank - I saw a baby with glasses the other day. How can a parent tell their baby needs glasses?

Dear Joe
This is a tough one since babies can't read...
Maybe they squint when looking at picture books?

Hey Frank - Can you boil a sex toy?

Dear Sonia
Please tell me you're not making a dildo soup...

Hey Frank - In the shower have you ever stretched your arm out at an angle where the water cascades off your hand like its shooting out of your fingers?

Dear Bob
Yes. I do this all the time - its like a super power but it would only be useful if the people you are fighting were much shorter than you and their weakness was getting wet.

Hey Frank - What's a good name for a porno in the 1700s?

Dear Charlie
A midsummer night's cream. 
Or the backdoor adventures of Scurvy McTavish

Hey Frank -Why is Wesley snipes so black? He is the blackest black person I've ever seen. PS I don't mean any offence to any of the blacks...

Dear Donald
Wesley snipes is so black because he was born on the sun. He's so black the "free evenings" portion of his free evenings and weekends cell phone plan is always activated. 

Also his blood type is burnt.

Hey Frank - Who is this pee diddy I keep hearing about and why is he named after a bodily function?

Dear Alex
Hes really named Pete Diddy. People misheard him and now he goes by the name Pee Diddy but believe me he's sad... I would be sad too if I was named after urine.

Dear Frank - Is it wrong for me to go after and want to sleep with midgets? I mean Lil people? Its not like preying on the mentally challenged is it?

Dear DeMarcus

No it is not wrong to want to sex a midget. Its even better to "crease" one! Since the ass and thighs are the largest muscle areas on the female body midgets with their compact frames have no where else to keep the fat than on their asses and thighs henceforth creating all kinds of nooks and crannies to rest your dick in. If they stored fat anywhere else on their bodies they wouldn't be able to stay up right.

Frank Breaker

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