I Believe: That scientology is the mix of science and gynecology.
I Believe: A pogo/corn dog is a trailer park lollipop.
I Believe: Hemorrhoids should be called assteroids.
I Believe: A young chick who dates a rich old dude is not a gold digger. She's a grave digger.
I Believe: If a person with multiple personalities kills himself it constitutes a murder suicide.
I Believe: Visa should pay at least half of my bill seeing as though BOTH of our names are on the credit card.
I Believe: People who's feet look like tree branches should steer clear of flip flops and sandals.
I Believe: If a deaf child swears his mother should wash his hands with soap.
I Believe: The only reason the word "lisp" has an "s" in it to fuck with people who have lisps.
I Believe: The virgin mary's story is a lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand.
I Believe: You can get raped in monopoly jail.
I Believe: If you're on your period it doesn't mean there can't be any "action" in the bedroom - they don't close the entire amusement park just because the roller coaster isn't working.
I Believe: Bald people aren't really losing hair - they're gaining more face.
I Believe: Vegetarians shouldn't eat animal crackers.
I Believe: On black friday white people should give their black friends gifts.
I Believe: Mermaids have their own payscales.
I Believe: The first ninja was just a dude who walked into a spiderweb.
I Believe: Facebook shouldn't have allow you to press "like" on your own status. Of course I like my own fucking status.