Friday, September 17, 2010

"when real is real!"

Admit it youve thought or dreamt about zombies at least once in your life right? Well believe it or not I just read that there are people out there who have actually gone ahead and prepared for a zombie apocalypse! To quote my sisters boyfriend Jon "the zombie apocalypse is when real is real" and "youd better know whats up". Hahaha wicked!

Ok ok so the only time zombie attacks would actually happen are in a horror movies but what if there is ever a sudden rise of the undead? Wouldnt you want some survival info? Yes you would. Heres my list of no nos when it come to finding places to hole up and survive

Top 5 worst places to take refuge during a zombie apocalypse

1. Hospital

Mistake. More and more people come into the hospital and more and more zombies come out. If youre in the hospital during a zombie apocalypse a you might as well consider your card pulled because youre finished - you arent getting out as a living human. Period.

2. Traffic Jam

Whats the first thing most people are going to do during a zombie apocalypse? Pack up their shit and hit the road. Well too many cars on the road = congestion. Promise me you wont be one of the sheep! Rule number one with zombies is to stay away from any place where you can be surrounded, with no means of escape. Zombies can be outrun (I use old school zombie rules) but if they surround you youre pwned. If youre going to bounce by car get yourself a 4X4 and go cross country to the north dude.

3. Top floor of a Tall building

You might think being high up in a tall ass building is a primo place to be in a zombie attack - youre high up, youve stocked food and water, you can watch the mayhem below, etc. Youre dead wrong. Eventually youll have to leave the building and thats when the action starts. Are there zombies in the halls? The elevators probably wont work so youll have to take the scary ass stairs. Cross your fingers theres no zombies in the stairwell. If you do make it to the lobby pray that its been sealed up... If not youll most likely meet a zombie horde and its game over for you son.

4. Mall

A mall is no good. Yeah I know there might be some supplies there but theres are also a lot of dudes who are probably thinking the same thing as you. Plus the malls probably all got looted minute one of the outbreak... If you do insist on a mall remember one thing instead of having a few friends chilling with you youll probably have a gang of punkasses fighting over the few supplies left. Not worth it in my opinion.

5. Airport

An airport is a shitty, SHITTY place to take refuge. Especially at the terminals! Honestly theyre too big, too hard to barricade and too hard to navigate. Plus theres no weapons inside an airport except for those belonging to the handful of cops there. Also can you imagine how many people would go there in the beginning trying to get out of dodge? It would be a disaster. Fuck that noise.

Basically stay away from any place where large groups of peeps would go out of panic. I would just get out of town... Listen to iron maiden and run to the hills!

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