Friday, November 22, 2013

Ask Frank

Hey Frank - If you were one of the 800 kernels of corn on an ear of corn how would you lead the uprising?

Dear Stewart
I would turn black and get all militant up in that piece.

Hey Frank - Dunkin Dognuts or Starbucks?

Dear Phillippe
I don't particularly like paying for dog nuts or coffee so neither.

Hey Frank - Are gay people and robots the same? Neither of them have emotions do they?

Dear Ian
They do have emotions. And they both hate you.

Hey Frank - Does stevie wonder know he's a black man?

Dear Jim
Dude it's 2013!


I'm sure someone will tell him soon.

Hey Frank - My boyfriend says he loves racing. Does that mean he loves it more than me? 

Dear Katie
No it absolutely does not mean he loves racing more than you. It means he loves racism more than you. 

Hey Frank - If you're a man and you love Jesus does that mean you're gay?

Dear George  
Of course it does.

Hey Frank - Since money doesn't grow on trees how does it grow?

Dear Abby
Money grows deep in the ground. Like a potato.

Hey Frank - If your penis was a country which one would it be? Why?

Dear Drew
My penis would be Canada. Because it's big. It's also close to an asshole. 

Hey Frank - If disney world is the greatest place on earth what is the worst? 

Dear Donald
The worst places on earth are the majority of men's public restrooms along the I-92. Some of them are like thunderdome - 2 men enter one man leaves! 

Seriously you ever go into a bathroom that has no stall door? Who gets so amped up while pooing they feel the need to rip the door off it's hinges?

Hey Frank - What is an instagram?

Dear Alice
Instagram is a unit of metric mass. It goes gram, kilogram, instagram, tonne.

Hey Frank  - Are dora the explorer and internet explorer related?

Dear Alexandra
Yes. They are second cousins twice removed. Also both of them take a shitload of time to find what they're looking for.

Hey Frank  - In rituals why do they always sacrifice virgins? Why not regular girls or sluts?

Dear Lonnie
Cause we need the regular girls and sluts for sex and stuff. You ever tried to get a virgin to give up her cherry??? Ain't nobody got time for that.

Hey Frank  - Why do people say that dolphins are the smartest sea creatures? Don't whales have their own country?

Dear Claudia
Wales isn't a country of whales - it's a contry of fat people.

Hey Frank  - When is the best time to watch the movie A Nightmare Before Christmas? At halloween or at christmas?

Dear Angie
At halloween dummy! Everyone knows that. Christmas is for holiday classics. Like Die Hard.

Hey Frank  - If lesbians are gay why don't they suck penis?

Dear Shawn
They do! The only difference is that for them "penis" is pronounced "clitoris". It's also shaped like a clitoris. Okay?

Frank Breaker


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