Crazy Sue:"Salon Dionne is so ugly!"
It took a while to figure out she was trying to say Celine Dion.
Crazy Sue: "They have a hot boys close to the house not to far from the house now. It's in vaudreuil."
Me:"WTF is a hotboy?"
Apparently she meant 5 guys restaurant.
Crazy Sue: "I don't want to go downtown today but I have an appointment with dr. murphy."
My dad: "Why don't you reschedule?"
Crazy Sue:"Cause it's a private clinic and I think they charge if you don't give them 24 hours notice."
Me:"It doesn't hurt to call does it?"
Crazy Sue:*on the phone with the doctors secretary* "Yes I would like to reschedule my appointment. My phone number is *********. I have an appointment today at 4:30... No not friday - TODAY. Are you sure you have the right name? I'm telling you the appointment isn't for friday it's for today! I have it written here in my agenda wednesday at 4:30 pm I wrote it down when your office called to confirm! Yes! Yes. Thank you (*on hold*). Hello? Yes. I'd like to reschedule my appointment please."
It turns out there was a clerical error and they had switched her original appointment for friday
Crazy Sue:*showing me a massive painting of herself she had done* "What do you think? Nice huh?"
Me: *lying through my teeth* "Yes it's nice..."
Crazy Sue:"Do you want me to get you one for your house?"
Crazy Sue: "Why not?"
Why the fuck would I want a giant painting of my mom in my house?!?!?!?!
Crazy Sue:"Your cd keeps skipping!
I was listening to dubstep at work.
Crazy Sue:"I didn't know lionel ritchie was an actor!"
I was watching the empire strikes back during my lunchbreak. She was talking about lando calrissian...
Crazy Sue: "Connie's husband called here this morning asking for you. He was really belligerent! I told him your wife quit her job with us months ago so what the hell are you calling me for? If connie has any questions answered she should call us herself! He told me she didn't call because she doesn't understand matters like this and she needs her information about her pension. What a pig huh? I told him he needs to call the pension plan administration. You know what he said to me? He told me he was going to send me a letter from an attorney. I told him don't threaten me you're not in india anymore! Then I told him to put connie on the phone. I told her her husband is an idiot.".
For some reason she has never been able to remember that this guy is south african.
Random woman: *coughs loudly*
Crazy Sue: "Did that woman just bark? I think she just barked!"
My mom was drunk and uttered this so loudly the coughing woman heard for sure.
Crazy Sue: "Is rappin' still hip?"
Crazy Sue: "How do I stop these invitations in my email to join that fazebook?."
Me: "Facebook mommy."
Crazy Sue: "Fazebook, facebook, fuckbook, who cares. Everybody keeps saying how much time people waste on it. I will never sign it up and I will progress with my life!"
Crazy Sue: *on a phone call with me* "I tried to call you earlier and your cell was off. Is it on now?"
She had just called my cell and I was talking to her.
The best crazy sue technochallenged action this week? 2 days ago I found the spare battery for her cell phone in her refrigerator. Wtf hahahahahahaha