Mike Tyson: Herman Cain

Mike Tyson is back exercising his funny factor with another classic this time spoofing herman cain. Bahahaha I swear this dude kills me. !

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Herman Cain’s Campaign Promises with Mike Tyson from Mike Tyson

"Pizza PThursday"????????? HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA "The Tea Party loves crazy more than they hate Blacks"

Herman Cain Sings 'Imagine There's No Pizza' from Mike Tyson

Frank Breaker

Official winner of the 2011 Artificial Vagina Best Video of Life Award

Sponge bob is a rumbler



I'm fucking dying over here at work! You see him against the bus while being arrested??? He's still in costume! I thought it was some viral video but apparently it's 101%real. I used love beating on mascots back in the day at Laronde 6 flags. Seriously there's just something about them that makes you want to knock out the creepy jagoff inside. But I've never seen one fight back...

This mascot battle made me crack up too.



Frank Breaker *Fighting mascots since 1994

Ask Frank

Hey Frank - What is tartar sauce made of?

Tartar sauce, or as the French refer to it, sauce tartare, consists of mayonnaise, mustard, chives, chopped gherkins, and the hard deposits of calcium phosphate scraped from teeth by dentists.

Hey Frank - I turn 65 next year. What should I do to keep busy during my retirement?

You have to remember that at 65 you're going to be slow and your bones will be brittle. Something low impact would be good for you... Like gardening, reading books and yelling at teenagers. I don't know if I can answer this question accurately. I myself have been enjoying my golden years in reverse - believe it or not I've been retired since birth. Why wait until you're old to pull out of the rat race??? I guess I eventually am going to have to get a real job so I can work off the MONSTER debt that I've put myself into. Once I hit 65 maybe I can get myself a sweet job as a walmart greeter or macdonalds cashier?

Hey Frank - My son is 14 years old and I think I need to have the "talk" with him. How should I begin? By "the talk" I mean the birds and the bees...

I kind of figured you meant the birds and the bees dummy. I can't answer this one either. Here's what my dad told me when he decided to finally have "the talk" with yours truly - "you're playing with fire if you continue to date that girl". I was nineteen goddamnit.

Hey Frank - Every monday my old lady meets with her book readin club in the big city. Im sure shes actually in a cult of some kind cause I already know She cant read good. Im fixin to go down there and confront them next week. Any advice?

Listen here jethro - you go down there and be the voice of reason. When they announce their plans to kill themselves when the mothership arrives next winter solstice ask them "why wait"? Then leave the building. You be sure to grab you a free glass of kool aid on the way out ya hear?

Hey Frank - You often hear about couples who go on killing sprees together. How the hell do serial killers find each other?

You've never heard of murderharmony.com? It's a dating site for people who were abandoned by their fathers, raised by domineering mothers and enjoy killing animals. That's how they find each other and fall in love. It's basically the same concept as plentyofpervs.com which is for people who like to peepee and caca on each other.

Hey Frank - I saw a homeless woman beating her husband. I abhor domestic violence yet I wasn't sure if I should have called the police. What do you think?

First of all if they were homeless it wasn't domestic violence. What you witnessed was a street fight my friend. Secondly what's the point? Call the cops and call a pizza then see which one gets to the scene first. My money's on the pizza.

Hey Frank - My polish girlfriend wants to cook me some kielbasa and sour kraut but she won't tell me what it is! Do you know what it is? Should I eat it?

Listen to me very carefully - stay away from that shit. If you do venture to eat it make sure you lock yourself alone in a room for a couple days afterwards. You are going to have such potent gas every time you fart you'll smell food you ate back in elementary school. To quote george carlin you're going to smell so bad "you could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon".

Hey Frank - I have a tick on my leg how do I get it off without using a tweezers?

Bash it off with a baseball bat my friend.

Hey Frank - How much percents of brain a normal human will use in his life?

As far as I know it's 100%. Unfortunately in your case the number is not nearly as high and drops down to 6%. I got this figure through extensive research (i.e reading your question).

Frank Breaker

Ask Frank

Hey Frank - Why is it that we never see a black or asian couples adopting white children?

Because white kids are crazy. That's why white people adopt blacks and asians.

Hey Frank - There was a report on the news last night on what to eat to prevent pregnancy but I missed the actual report. What can I eat to prevent pregnancy?

Penis.

Hey Frank - I think I want a baby. What should I do?

Get one of those water expanding animals (i.e magic grow lizards) and stick it in your uterus. Wait 9 months and viola! You'll give birth to your very own multicolored kimodo dragon.


Hey Frank - What is the eye of horus?

Horus is an ancient a sky god whose eyes are the sun and the moon. He watches you 24 hours a day. Even when you masturbate... He's a giant pervert.

Hey Frank - How far is earth from the polaris star?

The polaris star is exactly 6.2 parstacles away. Now you may be asking yourself what a parstacle is (par·sta·cle/ˈpärstakəl/) - it is an astronomical unit of distance invented by yours truly. . Yep 6.2 parstacles is the answer. I'm right - I can't give you the measures so you can convert 6.2 parstacles to metric or imperial units so you'll just have to take my word for it.

Hey Frank - What is the former name of tunesia?

Tatooine.

Hey Frank - What did the romans used to wear?

Dirty sheets and those uber lesbian sandals. I think they're called birkenstocks.

Hey Frank - Do most ukrainians live in the city or country side?

Most live in caves or other subterranean dwellings. Numerous tales about them are recorded throughout history in which they are described as being extremely old, mean and slow moving. They are also known to be man eaters and they sometimes turn to stone upon contact with sunlight.

Hey Frank - Does caffeine get you high?

Yes! It gives you a serious buzz. The best way to ingest it is to either snort or smoke it.

Hey Frank - Why did the vikings come to north america?

For the beer and chicks. Have you ever seen what a viking chick looks like? Blech! No thank you.

Hey Frank - Where do crabs live? Do they live in water?

Haven't I already answered this one? They live in dirty people's pants.

Hey Frank - What would a knight get in return for his services?

Sexual favors. For example if he was able to slay the village dragon he would be presented with the key to the king's daughter's chastity belt for a night of plowing. He would also get a ride around the royal castle in the royal coach whilst wearing the royal robes whilst skeeting on the royal entourage.

Hey Frank - How do I hook up with a girl? I'm a girl by the way...

Well you have come to the right place for advice on chicks! The key is to be a bastard. Chicks dig bastards because bastards don't turn off the sexuality. First look at the girl you want as prey to a predator. After staring her down for 20 minutes or so her defenses will be weakened. Approach her with as much confidence as possible making sure to ooze machismo feminismo from every pore. Ask her out tell her you and her are going out for a nice dinner at a semi classy bring your own wine restaurant. It's natural that she'll be nervous so don't forget to bring a few bottles of the cheap stuff with you. At dinner take charge and order her meal for her. Make sure to talk about yourself all evening (chicks dig that). Be sure to refill her wine glass every time she goes to the can! When you drop her off invite yourself in for coffee. After that you're on a one way trip to plow city... Population 2.

Frank Breaker