Back in the day part 3: The Home Phone

You know what I just thought about? Remember back in the day when you used to live at home and didn't have a cell phone? You'd have to use the home phone to call girls, guys, friends etc... Remember how some fool would always pick up the line while you were talking and start dialing without checking to see if someone was already on the line? That happened ALL the time in my house. And it was always my mom! Sometimes she'd be calling long distance to family in the U.K or Africa so the number would be like 20 plus fucking digits long "BEEP BOOP BAP BEEP BEEP BAP BOOOOOP BOP BAP BEEEEEP BOP BAP BEEP BOOP BAP BEEP BEEP BAP BOOP BOP!" and the whole time I'd be yelling "ma! Mommy! MA!!" at the top of my lungs hoping she'd hear me between beeps... The combination of my yelling and my mom pressing buttons must have sounded like scatman john.



SKII BOPP BA BADA BOPP!!!

The worst was when she'd use the phone in the den. It was a rotary phone.



Yeah. I remember that shit. Thanks ma.

*Edit: None of this applies to those of you who had your own phone lines. Elitists.

Frank Breaker

Back in the day part 2: When you didn't know

Remember how back in the day you thought you knew the meaning of a certain thing and it turned out you were completely wrong? When I was about 7 years old my best friend Drew was 100% convinced that "fucking" was gesturing for someone to come over by moving your middle finger back and forth rather than the index finger. One day he did it to a girl we knew. When she came over he explained it to her and she started doing the same gesture. Meanwhile I'm sitting on a rock watching these two fools basically flipping each other the bird over and over... A lunch lady came over and asked what they were doing and without skipping a beat the girl replied they were fucking! LOL the weirdness of a child's innocent perceptions of sexuality... Anyways this is a clip from the movie "Me and You and Everyone We Know". Goes to show people really need to monitor kids on the internet... The younger son is completely clueless and ends up starting a risqué internet romance with a strange woman. I have to say it's one of the weirdest scenes I’ve ever witnessed (besides a few scenes from "Happiness").

I have to quote one signature line of dialog: “Forever." Hahahaha!



"Ask her if she likes bologna."

Frank Breaker

Back in the day part 1

This is a new segment on the artificial vagina called "back in the day" and its worthy of a late night post. You know what I just thought about? Anyone remember their backyard swing set from back in the day? The one your dad put up when you were a kid? Remember how the bastard didnt use any concrete whatsoever to reinforce the legs?! Just dug 4 holes and stuck the swingset in... Then a couple years later youre significantly taller and chunkier and you go for a "swing". You decide to swing with the power of the gods and all of a sudden the fucking swing set legs come out of the ground and youre staring death in the face! Yeah. I remember that shit. Thanks pop.

Frank Breaker