More Crazy Sue

Ugly people
Crazy Sue:"Salon Dionne is so ugly!"
It took a while to figure out she was trying to say Celine Dion.

Burger joint
Crazy Sue: "They have a hot boys close to the house not to far from the house now. It's in vaudreuil."
Me:"WTF is a hotboy?"
Apparently she meant 5 guys restaurant.

Doctor's appointment
Crazy Sue: "I don't want to go downtown today but I have an appointment with dr. murphy."
My dad: "Why don't you reschedule?"
Crazy Sue:"Cause it's a private clinic and I think they charge if you don't give them 24 hours notice."
Me:"It doesn't hurt to call does it?"
Crazy Sue:*on the phone with the doctors secretary* "Yes I would like to reschedule my appointment. My phone number is *********. I have an appointment today at 4:30... No not friday - TODAY. Are you sure you have the right name? I'm telling you the appointment isn't for friday it's for today! I have it written here in my agenda wednesday at 4:30 pm I wrote it down when your office called to confirm! Yes! Yes. Thank you (*on hold*). Hello? Yes. I'd like to reschedule my appointment please."

It turns out there was a clerical error and they had switched her original appointment for friday

My dad:"Why did she bother arguing with them? If you have an appointment that you have to cancel and the doctor has a same day cancellation fee would you argue when they tell you that they had no record of your appointment? DUH."

Portrait
Crazy Sue:*showing me a massive painting of herself she had done* "What do you think? Nice huh?"
Me: *lying through my teeth* "Yes it's nice..."
Crazy Sue:"Do you want me to get you one for your house?"
Me:"No."
Crazy Sue: "Why not?"
Why the fuck would I want a giant painting of my mom in my house?!?!?!?!

Music
Crazy Sue:"Your cd keeps skipping!
I was listening to dubstep at work.

Movies
Crazy Sue:"I didn't know lionel ritchie was an actor!"
I was watching the empire strikes back during my lunchbreak. She was talking about lando calrissian...


Nationality
Crazy Sue: "Connie's husband called here this morning asking for you. He was really belligerent! I told him your wife quit her job with us months ago so what the hell are you calling me for? If connie has any questions answered she should call us herself! He told me she didn't call because she doesn't understand matters like this and she needs her information about her pension. What a pig huh? I told him he needs to call the pension plan administration. You know what he said to me? He told me he was going to send me a letter from an attorney. I told him don't threaten me you're not in india anymore! Then I told him to put connie on the phone. I told her her husband is an idiot.".
For some reason she has never been able to remember that this guy is south african.

Alcohol
Random woman: *coughs loudly*
Crazy Sue: "Did that woman just bark? I think she just barked!"
My mom was drunk and uttered this so loudly the coughing woman heard for sure.

Music
Crazy Sue: "Is rappin' still hip?"

Facebook
Crazy Sue: "How do I stop these invitations in my email to join that fazebook?."
Me: "Facebook mommy."
Crazy Sue: "Fazebook, facebook, fuckbook, who cares. Everybody keeps saying how much time people waste on it. I will never sign it up and I will progress with my life!"

Cell phone
Crazy Sue: *on a phone call with me* "I tried to call you earlier and your cell was off. Is it on now?"
Me: "No."
She had just called my cell and I was talking to her.



The best crazy sue technochallenged action this week? 2 days ago I found the spare battery for her cell phone in her refrigerator. Wtf hahahahahahaha

Frank Breaker

More Crazy Sue: Technochalleneged

Crazy Sue has always been clueless when it comes to any type of technology. I remember back in the day, when I first got zelda for my nintendo I couldn't play it when Crazy Sue was in the room. She would get pissed when I would break pots open for rupees. She called Link a "hooligan" and was convinced I would start doing the same shit in the house. She also had a problem with any game that required extremely fast button mashing (ex: mortal kombat "test your might"). She was positive I was trying to break the controller. She used to call gameboy "playboy". It's kind of embarrassing when you're at a family function and your mom is telling people she finds that her kids spend too much time playing with "playboys"... Anyways she especially sucks when it comes to computers. She's a little better now though but still! For example when Crazy Sue wants to go to a new website, she closes internet explorer and opens it again. And I can't tell you how many times I've seen her open internet explorer (which opens to google as homepage) and watched her type "google" in the address bar...

Here are some choice quotes spanning over the last few years.

Email
Crazy Sue: "I pressed send on my email to uncle peter before I was finished so I unplugged the computer. Do you think I stopped it from going?"
I should point out that at this point my mom thought the computer was just the monitor...

Search engines
Crazy Sue: "Is goggle open during the holidays?"
She meant google.

At the mall
Crazy Sue: "I'm at fairview. Can you goggle and see if the Rogers is still in the mall? ... Goggle, google whatever. Same thing."

Downloading
Crazy Sue: "I can't find the thing I just downloaded."
Me: "Just download it again to your desktop."
Crazy Sue: *10 minutes later* "How do I get this letter I printed off of my desk and back into the computer?"

CD burning
Crazy Sue: "Please tell your sister to stop burning cds she's going to use up all the laser before I get a chance to make one."

Microsoft word
Crazy Sue:"Now how do I get a new paper on the screen to type on?"
This took me about 10 minutes - she was referring to a new word document.   

More recent

Search engines
Crazy Sue: "Ok I'm going to search on google."
She clicks internet explorer icon. The computer is running slow so she clicks it again a few times furiously.
Me: "Wait! Give it a second. What were you trying to do anyways?"
Crazy Sue: "Queenie told me the faster I click the faster it goes."

Sending a message
Crazy Sue: "Where is the damn send button?"
Me: "There is no send button. You've been typing in a word document."

Keyboard issues
Crazy Sue:*over the phone* "I don't know what's going on. The keyboard isn't working!"
After 5 minutes I realized her computer was off. 

Phone manual
Crazy Sue: "This is really taking a long time."
Me: "What is?"
Crazy Sue: "I'm printing this manual for my phone because I can't work it."
The manual was 250 pages long. 

Cell charging
Crazy Sue: "Something's wrong with my cell. Whenever I take it off the charger the battery doesn't last more than 2 days before I have to charge it again! You think I need a new battery?"

Cell phones
Crazy Sue: *over the phone* "The power's out in the neighborhood. If you're in the west island could you drive over and start the generator please? I don't know how I'm going to reach dad."
Me: "I don't know how to start it. Call dad's cell."
Crazy Sue "Didn't you hear me? THE POWER'S OUT."
It took her a few minutes to realize his cell phone would still work even without electricity.

Internet browsers
Crazy Sue: "Dad installed foxfire on my computer now I have to use it instead of internet. I hate it when he does that!"
She meant firefox and internet explorer.

Buying a laptop at best buy
Crazy Sue: "I want one with a keyboard attached to it."

Her new samsung phone
Crazy Sue: "You would like this phone! It even has an Ipod in it."

Text messaging
Crazy Sue: *via text message* "You left your cell phone at our house."
She's sent me this message more than once.



Frank Breaker
 

We cool now, right?

Erry Day