Here's today's list of douchebags who could catch a foot
People who you would love to hate but can’t because they are
too nice need to get kicked in the teeth.
Parents who don’t control their kids need to get kicked in
the teeth. Their kids need to get kicked in the teeth too.
People who answer rhetorical questions incorrectly need to
get kicked in the teeth.
White dudes who go outside in shorts in the dead of winter
need to get kicked in the teeth.
People who talk to me while I have headphones on need to get
kicked in the teeth.
People who walk slow in front of me need to get kicked in
the teeth. Move out of the fucking way grandma!
People who don’t wash their hands after they’ve used
the can need to get kicked in the teeth. Well done! Now you’re a walking
caca-peepee factory.
People who leave my front door open need to get kicked in
the teeth. What - were you raised in a barn???
People with shitty tattoos need to get kicked in the teeth.
People who use the word “tatt” instead of tattoo need to get
kicked in the teeth.
Women who still support the GOP after all the 2012 bullshit rape
rhetoric need to get kicked in the teeth.
The GOP needs to get kicked in the teeth.
A dentist who continues a conversation with you while he works
on your mouth needs to get kicked in the teeth.
People who try to touch my hair need to get kicked in the teeth.
Smartass vegetarians who preach their wicked ways need to get kicked in the
teeth.
Circus clowns need to get kicked in the teeth.
My weight needs to get kicked in the teeth.
Big bugs need to get kicked in the teeth.
Taco Bell
needs to get kicked in the teeth.
Orange Frenzies Freezies (stupid spell check) need to
get kicked in the teeth.
Spell check (see above) needs to get kicked in the teeth.
Facebook needs to get kicked in the teeth.
Slow checkout tellers need to get kicked in the teeth.
People who repeat shit to me even though I tell them they already told me need to get kicked in the teeth.
People who repeat shit to me even though I tell them they already told me need to get kicked in the teeth.
People who repeat shit to me even though I tell them they already told me need to get kicked in the teeth.
My cellular phone needs to get kicked in the teeth.
Wait staff who try to jedi mind trick me into adding to my
order (i.e: do you want fries with that, cheese on that, etc) need to get
kicked in the teeth. I know what I want to eat fuckface. If I wanted cheese on
my hamburger I would’ve ordered a cheeseburger.
Drunk strangers who try to give me high fives need to get
kicked in the teeth.
Couples who use the same email address need to get kicked in
the teeth.
People who walk up on the escalator need to get kicked in the
teeth. I shouldn't have to move to let you pass me. If you wanted to walk take the goddamn stairs! Leave the escalators for us lazy folk. Same goes moving
sidewalks.
People who say “I saw it with my own eyes” need to get
kicked in the teeth. No shit you saw it with your own eyes. You sure as hell didn't see it with my eyes...
People who clip the back of my legs with their grocery carts need to get
kicked in the teeth.
People at restaurants who ask “would you like a table?” need
to get kicked in the teeth. What the fuck do you think I'm here for? To admire the decor?
People who choose to pee in the urinal right beside me when
there are other urinals free need to get kicked in the teeth.
People who use the word "butt" instead of "ass" need to get kicked in the teeth.
*Edit: possible exception - when children are around.
Strangers who talk to me in public restrooms need to get
kicked in the teeth.
People with artificial tans need to get kicked in the teeth.
People who say "volumptuous" instead of "voluptuous" need to get
kicked in the teeth.
Shazam!!! Catch a foot with your teeth!
Frank Breaker
