Jehovah's witnesses... The universal, annoying as fuck religion. I think everyone hates them (including other jehovah's witnesses). I mean their religious doctrine says only 144000 people will be getting into heaven right? There must be a lot of cutthroat competitiveness between members trying to ensure they get their pie in the sky. Also if they do indeed believe only 144000 are getting tickets off of this rock why would they go door to door trying to recruit new members?? You don't tell 50 people about the big show if there's only 3 seats left dude. Fucking bozos.
Anyways getting rid of them can be difficult. Trust me. Telling them you're agnostic, atheist or even a satanist doesn't work. They live for the holy thrill of conversion... Well I have the solution for you - if you want them to leave you alone you have to act bat shit crazy. Fight fire with fire! My theory: one lunatic cancels out another. Example 1 - my old roommate got accosted by one of them in the hallway of our building. While the loon was preaching my roommate kept looking around the guy. Then he stared the dude right in the eye and with a straight face asked him he had any virgins handy. Dude took off faster than an olympic sprinter with diarrhea...
Example 2 - a couple years ago one of them approached me outside my house and asked me if I wanted to attend a prayer meeting. I said no. Then he asked me if I wanted him to pray for me. I asked him in a low pitched voice how was he supposed to pray for me when I desperately needed cans of tuna fish for my water bottles? Then I asked him if he had any tuna fish on him. They never came to my door again.
So now they've resorted to leaving flyers in my mailbox??? Not on my watch. I have to nip this shit in the bud pronto. I think I'll go to the meeting advertised above and pass out my own flyers.
After that madness they'll stop hassling me for shizzle.
Frank Breaker
No comments:
Post a Comment