Awesome quotes from friends and acquaintances: part 6

J: (referring to a tv show where one of the characters says 'holy jesus on a stick') "Shutup! Jesus wouldnt be caught dead on a stick." - I swear she said this shit TO THE TV with a straight face. Shes so stupid hahahaha

My uncle: (referring to how stupid j is) "I dont know why I bother talking with her. Its like having a conversation with a rock."

Dave: (referring to the guys staying next to us in our hotel in L.A) "Why can't the guys next door who arent wearing shirts be chicks?"

Dave: "If I was a chick Id be the biggest lesbian of all time. And Id fuck all the dudes who dont get any. Just cause.

Dave: "I like my women how I like my filesystems - FAT and 16."

Dave:

Dave: "Im so sick Im not coming to school tomorrow. Im coughing up shit that isnt even mine."
Frank Breaker: "Next time dont swallow."

Dave: "Sex with asians is good bro. Im sure it feels the same as sexing an alien."

Johnny: (to dave) "Bro less porn, more chicks. Ok?"

Larry: (referring to a shirt tarik wore too often) "Dude youve been wearing that shirt since... well since ever."

David S: (SHITHEAD GUN NUT referring to hunting with his grandfather)

David S: "Why dont you come hunting with us next weekend?"
Frank Breaker: "Yeah no. Its not for me."
David S: "My grandfather always says all good christian men know how to shoot guns. And they go to church."
Frank Breaker: "So why dont you kill two birds with one stone and shoot guns in church?"

Virginia: (in excel class) "Gummy bears will do anything to avoid getting eaten. I just found one in the printer."

Schmitty